Motherhood: Servant’s Heart, Power of a King

As always, I’m living, working and breathing all there is to this motherhood journey. As usual I’m taking in every moment with my 4 children and looking for the greater lesson or meaning from our encounters and experiences. Ok, maybe not every moment. Some moments are spent staring at the tv for hours, scrolling through social media or just trying to breathe alone for just ONE SECOND! But nevertheless, my intention is to be present and to drink in the moments and not to overlook the little gifts along the way. Then it came to me after staying up way late after the kids went to bed to get some work done; a simple thought to ponder. Motherhood is characterized by having a servant’s heart while possessing the power of a king. 

I sat up on the edge of the bed, paused the YouTube video playing one of Priscilla Shirer’s inspirational speeches and just let out a huge WOW! My mind was completely blown away at this beautiful depiction of motherhood that was given to me suddenly by God Himself. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it at first even though it seems pretty clear but I had to take a moment and really ponder this idea. I began to replay the day earlier as my family and I are currently on our last vacation of the summer before school resumes on September 8th. We’re spending a week in the mountains in a resort and it has been fun, exhausting, frustrating and relaxing all at one point or another! From standing in line for over an hour so each child could ride ponies for about 2 minutes each, to waiting in the pouring rain while your children bungee jump and you can’t think of a complaint because the sheer joy and happiness on their faces is the very reason why you live. We serve our children, we look for ways to shower them with love and oh don’t we just adore them! We place ourselves last because of our love, all the while possessing the power to change their world and ours in just a moment. What power, authority, privilege and responsibly! Just as with anything else, it can be abused or misused or ineffective if we are not prepared or willing to guide our thoughts, actions and decisions with humility, wisdom and love. We can become selfish, dismissive and neglectful if we forget we are here in service to others and somehow lose sight of the whole  puzzle for focusing solely on just our piece. This is not to say we shouldn’t care for ourselves and take time to nurture ourselves, moms PLEASE do that! What I am saying is keeping a balanced perspective of not just who we are but why we are. A king knows who he is and is full of confident authority; while a servant knows why he is here and is full of humble service. So I’ll share the notes I made for myself as a reminder of my who and why:

A loving servant knows the heart, desires, dreams, wishes, likes and dislikes of those they serve. He takes pride in bringing pleasure and delight, never taking lightly his responsibility to meet the needs of those in his service. Why do they serve? If out of obligation or by force, he is resentful but if out of love and devotion, he is compelled to serve. So I asked myself 3 questions. Who am I? We all have power, authority and influence in some area of our lives. What am I to do with this power and authority(purpose)? Having gifts, talents and the blessings of children are not only for our enjoyment, there is so much more. How can I utilize who I am and why I’m here to serve those who need me the most? A life in service to others is never a wasted life, rather an impactful life whose reward will never fade.

Moms we are rewarded when little eyes of gratitude look up at us and we hear “thank you mom” or hugs of appreciation and even the rewards that don’t pay directly. Watching your son or daughter become successful or find true love are dividends for the loving deposits of service and meeting their needs while leading with power, wisdom and authority.

I’m reminding myself in the moments of serving my family, clients and audiences, to never think less of myself. The sign of a great leader is their ability to follow. In the moments of lunches, play groups and practices, building businesses, speaking to audiences, meeting the needs of clients and catering to my husband and kids, I remind myself of my greatness, strength and power. My life’s purpose to serve enables me to live as a queen!

A SuperMommy’s Guide to Spring break: Myrtle Beach, SC

April comes, the Easter bunny has come and gone leaving chocolate and goodies behind. We’ve put away the fancy spring dresses and traded them in for flip flops, beach towels and fun in the sun. Finally winter is over and the warmth of the sun feels so amazing on my skin. It’s Spring break!! School’s out for the week and we’re hitting the highway for fun and a taste of the much anticipated summer! This SuperMommy is on Spring break in Myrtle Beach, SC.  

 

Wake up early pack our bags, grab an extra kid(what’s a road trip if the kids can’t bring a friend, right) and hit 95S from our Virginia home for some beach bumming fun. Here’s this SuperMommy’s Guide to a no fuss Spring break! 

1. Convenience is worth a few extra bucks. I spent a few days calling around looking for the best place for our family to stay while on vacation that wouldn’t cost us too much. In fact, the cheaper the better! With our family of 6, an exchange student and one of the kids’ friends coming along, we need to keep our costs as low as possible. So I find a great rate for our accommodations and even though it didn’t offer much of anything else, we would have a little bit extra to do more. While riding down the interstate and hearing my little loves talk with excitement, I began to think. Save $75, stay at a less than desirable location with fewer options available to keep my loves happy or splurge on an oceanfront resort with endless conveniences that leave them smiling from ear to ear and overwhelmed with excitement. Convenience can be costly but these moments are priceless and stress shouldn’t rob you of one single second!   
2. No stress, no concrete expectations no fuss. We made the last minute change to our reservations and upon arrival, immediately knew we made the right choice. Comfort, space, convenience and all of the things that make a beach getaway great. I left stress at home and promised to go with the flow; taking every moment in. Walk the beach while they run straight into the ocean completely dressed, swim until 8:15pm followed by dinner and Disney marathon until everyone is asleep and snoring; sounds great. Day one is a success!
3. Don’t try to do it all. Go for quality not quantity! I’ve spent too many vacations with the checklist of must do activities and must see attractions. Exhausted and frustrated kids, uptight and high strung parents, not to mention timelines, restraints and schedules have no place on vacation! I made a list of things to do and places to go. Some of the items were for mommy and daddy and most were for the kids. Shopping at the Tanger Outlet for mommy, Planet Hollywood dinner for our exchange student from Spain were our must do items. Medieval Times, WonderWorks and of course Broadway at the Beach were the must do items for the kids and family. If the kids would rather swim all day and play at the beach, I promise I won’t be a bit upset. I want them happy and enjoying their vacation their way. 

Sitting in the condo thinking about the next few days and I honestly don’t know what we’ll do before the week is out. Maybe we’ll fill our days with adventure and sightseeing or maybe split between relaxing on the beach and laying by the pool. I’m not sure and I’m ok with that because what I know for sure is that we’re going to laugh, smile, love and create memories to last a lifetime. 

The beauty of a SuperMommy is not perfection and free from problems and mistakes. It is quite the opposite. Taking in the beauty and joy of each moment and remembering the purpose of it all is what’s most important. Every vacation is an opportunity to disconnect from the busy life full of demands and deadlines; while reconnecting to the ones you love the most. Spring’s theme is renew, refresh, rebirth and reconsider. What better way than a spring break getaway to simply enjoy the joys and blessings of family however you choose. The guide to Spring break like a SuperMommy is so simple that I’ll sum it all up with one thought. 

A SuperMommy isn’t concerned with the roadmap of others. She isn’t concerned with rhythm of someone else’s drum, fitting the mold or reaching a certain status. She is committed to silencing the noise of life, connecting to the rhythm the of the hearts in her life and never missing the moment to dance. 

This Myrtle Beach break for Spring will give my family and I an opportunity to focus on what’s really important; happiness, love, family, sun and sand! 

  

Christina Amen is a wife, mother of 4 and CEO of Super Mommy-n-Me. For more information visit http://www.supermommynme.com

This SuperMommy’s March Madness and how she intends to welcome spring!

Ok so it’s March and I’m looking around my  houses full of madness. Yes I mean loads of laundry, bins full of summer clothes that I packed up last fall but never made it to the attic, dust, Barbies, Legos and every other toy you can think of conveniently lying where it’s going to get stepped on by your bare feet and instantly send you into a painful rage. My planner is full of goals unmet, untapped potential and that’s not ok. I’ve missed a lot more than just a few workouts, try not one in the last 3 weeks and the chips, soda and cookies are back on the menu! Too much time working and not enough balance. I’ve got ambitious goals and I haven’t been following the road to realizing my dreams. I told you utter and complete madness. I didn’t even get to mention the office that is cluttered with so much evidence of our hectic lives that I’m thinking the file cabinet, shelving and organizational systems are a joke and their only purpose is to mock me. Madness and its March; right when we all begin to think one thing: Spring is almost here and I need everything clean and in it’s  place! 

Spring is like New Year’s Day and I resolve to refresh, renew and refocus. 

My husband shakes his head as I zoom around the house, music blaring, cleaning like a madwoman–madness! I’ve got a ferocious plan and schedule to clean, redecorate and reorganize every square foot and inch of my houses–physical, mental, spiritual, financial and of course my literal house! Here’s my plan:

Priorities Woman! Rome wasn’t built in a day but it would’ve been if women were in charge!

The beauty and superhero characteristics of moms is our ability to conquer insurmountable feats, multitask and get results while maximizing what precious and seemingly limited time we have. The problem with that is we tend to overload and attempt to save, protect and restore order all on our own. Madness. I’m living this right now; husband, 4 kids, 4 businesses, 1 job(his), lots of volunteer work, home life, etc. Madness. It all starts right after Halloween. The kickoff to the holiday season and there’s hustle and bustle, hurry, busy, go, go,go! The new year rolls in and I’m like “I’m reaching my goals and then some. Let’s make it happen!” It takes March and the emergence of Spring to refocus, silence all of the noise and breathe! It’s all about priorities. I take a break after 7 hours of cleaning to sit on the floor in my office and refresh my priorities. What are they?

1. Faith: who are you, what do you believe and how do you share that with others?
2. Family: how are you nurturing the relationships with those who matter the most or are you too busy?
3. Well-being: are you freeing your body and mind from toxins and life suckers? 
4. Purpose: are you disciplined and consistent with your tasks and responsibilities at home and in business to see success and greater influence?

Asking myself these hard questions and being authentic allowed me to see clearly. Half the battle is recognizing the distractions so that  I     can steer clear. 

With refreshed priorities comes a renewed action plan. 

I jump up from sitting on the hardwood floor and grabbed the nearest notepad and pen. Feeling inspired, it’s time to renew the action plan! 

Upward: taking time to meditate, devoting time at the beginning of my day to center, pray and start with peace and positivity. Looking upward first to express gratitude keeps everything in perspective throughout the entire day. 

Inward: my heart, wellbeing, peace and happiness is all inward. Feeding and fueling my mind and body everyday no matter what. Health, fitness, nutrition and personal development isn’t optional. After all, anything not growing is dead. 

Outward: Expressing my love to my family, friends and loved ones everyday. Devoting time to connect, laugh and bond each day no matter what. Living a life of service to help others, encourage others and have a positive impact on someone everyday. 

Onward: diligence, discipline and consistency. Running, walking and sometimes crawling in the direction of my dreams. Boldly, Fearlessly, Relentlessly. 

Priorities are refreshed, action plan renewed now it’s time to refocus. 

I put away the notebook, broom and other cleaning supplies. Walked into the the room where my kids had been “cleaning” and it sounds a whole lot like playing and I said let’s go out for a while and have a little fun! The refocus allowed me to remember not to try and reach the end goal in one day. Rather, reach a milestone everyday. Kitchen, living room and dining room–done. Accomplished a few positive tasks for my businesses–done. Enjoyed a beautiful evening having dinner, laughing, watching movies and loving the people who fill my heart. Madness. 

The Millenial SuperMommy has career, family, goals and dreams in focus with the ambitions to accomplish them all.

Travel back in time and you’ll find the June Clever type moms where appearance was everything, soft spoken and family focused, little ambition to pursue any professional goals and the extent of her satisfaction was limited to the perfect home, children and fresh baked cookies and pies. The idea that to be a SuperMom, you have to be perfect at all times, never make a mistake and always have the right answer to every problem. Even the days of the Huxables displayed an unattainable level of perfection in parenting even while maintaining a high stress career. The standard for moms have been set to make us believe loads of laundry sitting on the floor, building a corporation from the ground up, taking control of your life and missing the mark a little along the way are the makings of a “regular mom” who just doesn’t measure up. Well think again!! Millenial Moms are redefining what it means to be a SuperMommy! 



The Millenial SuperMommy knows no limitations, achieves goals, has passions and is more forgiving and accepting of other moms. 

1. No more limitations. No longer do we have to choose between career and family. Millenial SuperMoms are creating non traditional ways to earn money, starting their own companies and working from home, all while raising children. The rise of mom entrepreneurs has shown the rise of empowered moms who have decided to take their passions and skills to not only run their families but take charge of their lives. 

2. Achieve goals. Remember those movies and sitcoms where the mom “was great way back when” and had dreams but she became a mom and now all of her efforts are spent catering and nurturing the needs of her family. Occasionally you would find her reminiscing on her former days as a dancer, singer, reporter, or businesswoman; only to push those days behind her because now she’s a mom. That way of thinking is obsolete as Millenial SuperMoms balance all of who they are and hope to be! 

3. Pursing Passions and leading purposeful lives. Saving money, making money by doing everyday tasks, launching businesses around our passions, and reaching for all of our dreams is what sets Millenial Moms apart from every other generation. I’m not afraid or apologetic for my desire to be a great mom, fulfilled wife and accomplished woman. Millenial SuperMoms know that they are so much more than a mom and live embracing all of who they are. 

What does a Millienial SuperMommy look like? Powerful. Fearless. Innovative. Creative. Forgiving. Authentic. Real. 



I’m 30 now and my life didn’t end

The infamous and oftentimes dreaded 30th birthday. For women it seems to be the end of youth and the beginning of the aging process…I don’t agree. Last week, I reached a milestone. As I celebrated my 30th birthday with friends and family, I began to reflect on what this new phase in life really meant to me.
So you turn a year older and suddenly your life changes, really? I don’t think it works that way; or anything does for that matter. Who I am today and who I aspire to be is a culmination of experiences, mistakes and lessons learned. My life is measured by growth and is not defined by age. I’m no less energetic or youthful at 30 than I was at 29. Changing perspectives and priorities, gaining wisdom, purpose and focus are all characteristics of growth.

“Anything that isn’t growing is dead.”

The growing process is a gradual one. Not everyone has the same speed of progress or the desire to. Turning 30 is really no different than turning any other age, unless you want it to be. For me, my focus is clearer, determination intensified, and priorities in place; not simply because I’m 30 but because being driven by purpose demands such. With this perspective, I can let go of any emotional attachments and superficial apprehensiveness in regards to growing older. It’s a blessing each year to see myself evolve into who I was created to be. Each of us are full of potential and purpose. The growing process allows us to realize our potential and use it to fulfill our purpose. On your next birthday, before drowning in your sorrows or blowing out the candles, ask yourself “what new potential have I now realized within me” and then, go live out the answer.

The curse of comparison

“Why can’t I keep my house perfectly clean like Sherry?” Have you ever said that? I’ve seen women walking by with 2 or 3 children and I look at their body type and think “why isn’t my stomach as flat as hers?” Comparison and competition are the Achilles heel for many women. Unfortunately, we live in a culture where there’s a standard for success, beauty and perfection without any exceptions. That however is not truth or reality.

As moms, this is especially true. We are bombarded with stay at home versus working outside the home and which is the better mom. Then you have nursing moms and moms who choose formula. Or how about homeschool versus public school? We have so many areas in which we compare ourselves against other moms and judge both unfairly.

Moms and women in general are extremely hard on each other.

I can remember meeting a now friend of mine for the first time. She was beautiful, a mom of three with an incredible body, and what I perceived as a picture perfect life. For a long time I would try to find flaws and take joy in finding them. Watching her, I lost sight of what was incredible about me! Instead, I focused on the fact I didn’t have her successful career, perfectly toned body, and what seemed like a celebrity lifestyle. Never once did I take the time to know her story, struggles, setbacks and sacrifices. Comparing our lives caused me to judge her highlight reel of life against my unedited, full length version. It just wasn’t fair!

We’ve all been in both positions of comparing and being compared to. It robs you of the chance to exchange what each of us uniquely possess to enhance the lives of others. There is no room for competition when we run our own race. This journey of motherhood has taught me forgiveness. I’ve learned to be forgiving of myself and to accept that who I am and what I have to offer is better than good enough; it’s incredible. The same is true for you!

Broken parenting…ending violence against children

Here lately in the news are countless stories of children killed, neglected, abandoned and left for dead. Take the father in Georgia whose 22 month old son lost his life after being left and locked in a hot car for more than 8 hours, while his father was working…heartbreaking. Or all of the numerous videos posted on social media of parents beating their children in ways unimaginable. The very thought of these and so many other tragedies, cuts my heart to the core. I’m filled with so many emotions; pain, anger, sorrow, pity and yet the same question remains why is this happening? According to the Department of Geosciences, the average number of U.S. child heatstroke fatalities from 1998-present is 38 per year. 38 precious blessings whose lives were prematurely taken from this world. With 18% of these children left intentionally and over 50% “forgotten” by parent or caregiver, I’m left asking myself, “what has gone wrong?”

In the period of 1998 through 2013, a total of 606 infants and children died of heatstroke inside hot motor vehicles. Just over half (51%) of these were accidentally forgotten by a parent or other caregiver. Of these 312 deaths, the number of deaths in which the mother (95) or father (100) were the responsible party are nearly equal. Also, of all responsible persons, the number of males (129) were approximately equal to the number of females (137).

What has changed in the hearts of parents whose responsibility is to provide and protect, nurture and love the beautiful children they are blessed with? How have we become so desensitized that a video of a 3 year old boy being beaten and abused by his father isn’t enough to demand action?

Looking into the eyes of my beautiful children and thinking back to when they were babies, connects my heart to this issue in a way that’s personal. I read these stories and I’m overcome with sadness and a sense of loss as if I somehow knew these children. I didn’t have to know them personally or any of the future children I wish I could save. I’m a mother, a mommy whose heart is whole. Does that make me perfect? That would most certainly be a resounding no!! The thing is, broken hearts, minds and perspectives hardly are equipped to offer anything different. Broken parenting produces broken children with broken emotions, relationships, hearts and lives. A defenseless child with the potential to better this world is never given the chance because their cries are left unanswered, needs unmet and well being unprotected.
We all have a purpose in life. For me it’s quite clear. My purpose in this life is to impact the lives of moms and children. I’ve challenged myself to make a difference in the lives of hurting children right in my community. Educating moms, providing the resources and support needed to mend and heal their brokenness. It starts with one decision to be a mother’s keeper. This is my business and passion. It’s time to offer real solutions and finally put an end to all of the violence against children!

Through the eyes of love…interracial family woes

Love is a choice; a decision even. Love is saying I choose you, all of you, even when we differ in thoughts, background, beliefs or even ethnicities.I choose to love all of you!

Sitting here preparing to share my experiences as a wife in an interracial marriage and mother to biracial children has me overwhelmed by emotions. Thinking to myself, why is this even a topic to discuss? Tears have filled my eyes one too many times because of the actions, words or deeds of others who either don’t understand or simply choose not to.

I can remember after the birth of my oldest daughter, overhearing family members ask, “does she look white or black?” as if somehow that made a difference. Walking through stores or sitting in restaurants and trying my hardest to ignore awkward stares or questioning expressions. “Could that blue-gray eyed little girl with long strawberry blonde curls, really belong to this black woman?” It’s sickening and frustrating. What happens when there is only one blue-gray eyed baby and the others are brown hair/brown eyes? There becomes a hierarchy amongst the most beautiful and perfect drops of pure love but from those closest to you who secretly share the thoughts and feelings of some of the most hurtful strangers. Statements like “all of them are pretty but she’s special” or differential treatment creating a false sense of superiority in one while a false feeling of inferiority in the others. My heart breaks just thinking that those who you love can harbor such outdated and discriminatory feelings and beliefs.

As parents who made the choice to love each other without weighing the costs, it almost feels reckless on our parts. I don’t think I was fully prepared to challenge political correctness to cover true disappointment or those “tolerating” rather than “embracing.” There was a bit of naivety, a belief that the world has changed and that our love would be admired. Unaware of the hurdles we would have to clear has left us blindsided for some of the most difficult challenges. How do you start the conversation with those you love whose hurts cut the deepest? I ask myself this question almost daily. Where is the line drawn in the sand? In some of the worse of times, I’ve thought “why did I choose this for them?” Will our love and teaching be enough to combat the ignorance of so many around us? Do I confront those we love in pursuit of peace, true love and acceptance while risking conflict?

I look into the eyes of my 4 beautiful gifts and see perfect love that hasn’t been corrupted, perverted or distorted. It’s at that moment that I want to capture it, bottle it up and preserve it. It’s not their ethnicity that defines them. It’s not whether or not their physical appearance is more or less socially preferred. What truly defines them and all of us is our self respect, integrity, convictions, beliefs, how we treat others, our ability to love fully and completely, and seeing those same things in others.

On Our Family Vacation…I need a Getaway!

It’s summertime finally! The weather is great for days spent by the pool, hangouts on the beach(thankfully, we live on the East Coast), and best of all summer getaways to explore different cities and sometimes countries even! The summer vacation is everything to most families.

What happens when you book a vacation for a week almost 900 miles away from home? For our family of 6, we load up the minivan, drive through 5-6 different states, feast on junk food while we listen to Frozen play for more than 13 hours, all for the promise of relaxation and fun. This is currently our situation.

So, I’ll quickly take you back to the beginning and what led to such a decision. The kids last day of school was June 13. We thought as a celebration of the end of yet another successful year for our preschooler, kindergartener, and 2nd grader; we would plan a week getaway to–St. Louis, MO. Wait, before you say why or think, of all the places…my husband is originally from The Lou and as a result our family are fans of the Cardinals. So we figured we’d see family, go to a baseball game, the circus is in town and end it with a trip to the lake. What’s summer without water to jump into anyway?

Well, we’re here and all I can say is…“I can’t wait to get home from vacation so I can relax!”

What?! How does that even make sense? Moms, you know you understand. I appreciate my home and each kid having their own space filled with all things that distract them from fighting with each other. The overly expensive crib and beds at home that seemed ridiculous to buy but are now priceless as my 16 months old baby girl refuses to sleep on our vacation beds. She’s now cranky, sleep deprived and making sleeping in nearly impossible. The hustle to try and accomplish what we’ve planned, the meltdowns, the fighting between my little people and did I mention NO SLEEP!

Seeing the smiles on my family’s face as they watch the Cardinals play in 98 degree sweltering heat, watching their faces light up with excitement as we sit in a 1 ring circus with camels, elephants and the like so close we can touch them, hearing the laughter and giggles while they splash, play and swim is why we make all of those sacrifices. It’s always worth it.

Home Sweet Home never rang so true. I’m looking forward to laying on the sofa, hearing the soothing sounds of the washing machine doing the load of clothes I just put in. I’m so ready to get home from vacation, so I can finally relax!

Riding off into the sunset…in a minivan!

Remember those days of being spontaneous, romantic and having a passionate love life? Do you remember or was it so long ago that you’re not sure if that side of you still exists? It can become mundane, non-existent or a chore after life and priorities change.
Meeting my husband while were in our early 20s and carefree, sparked an intense romance with all the time and passion to keep the fire burning. Then came more demanding careers, 4 children, and not a lot of time for romantic getaways! How do you keep the passion and romance alive? Really, I’m asking?
Thankfully, my husband doesn’t need much help in this area. He can find a romantic moment over a spaghetti and meatball dinner at our kitchen table while the baby screams, and the other 3 go completely wild. Amongst all of the chaos, he’ll just as easily whisper to me, “wanna go upstairs?” I’m thinking, to do what, run bath water for tomato stained kids or hide in the bathroom? I can only pray to have just a little of his spontaneity!
So what’s the solution? What have I done to fill our “love tank?”To tell you the truth, I’m still learning, searching and trying to bring more of our former passion back. We’ve tried date nightsbut with busy schedules, they’re the 1st to go. We thought maybe stay awake 1-2 hours after the kids are in bed for “alone time”but when the kids are down, we’re not far behind! So for now we’ll just steal those moments as they come, send love texts throughout the day and remember to enjoy our love as we ride off into the sunset!