The curse of comparison

“Why can’t I keep my house perfectly clean like Sherry?” Have you ever said that? I’ve seen women walking by with 2 or 3 children and I look at their body type and think “why isn’t my stomach as flat as hers?” Comparison and competition are the Achilles heel for many women. Unfortunately, we live in a culture where there’s a standard for success, beauty and perfection without any exceptions. That however is not truth or reality.

As moms, this is especially true. We are bombarded with stay at home versus working outside the home and which is the better mom. Then you have nursing moms and moms who choose formula. Or how about homeschool versus public school? We have so many areas in which we compare ourselves against other moms and judge both unfairly.

Moms and women in general are extremely hard on each other.

I can remember meeting a now friend of mine for the first time. She was beautiful, a mom of three with an incredible body, and what I perceived as a picture perfect life. For a long time I would try to find flaws and take joy in finding them. Watching her, I lost sight of what was incredible about me! Instead, I focused on the fact I didn’t have her successful career, perfectly toned body, and what seemed like a celebrity lifestyle. Never once did I take the time to know her story, struggles, setbacks and sacrifices. Comparing our lives caused me to judge her highlight reel of life against my unedited, full length version. It just wasn’t fair!

We’ve all been in both positions of comparing and being compared to. It robs you of the chance to exchange what each of us uniquely possess to enhance the lives of others. There is no room for competition when we run our own race. This journey of motherhood has taught me forgiveness. I’ve learned to be forgiving of myself and to accept that who I am and what I have to offer is better than good enough; it’s incredible. The same is true for you!


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